Why Ive been away for 4 weeks

[admin]

Haven’t been around much lately, explanation.

You may have noticed, I have not been online much in the last month. If I have not answered your emails or PM’s or threads on my board, I appologise. I’ll be getting on top of all this as of today.

This situation came totally out of the blue.

My brother who is a diabetic had 2 Carpel Tunnel operations on his wrist just before Christmas.

Almost 4 weeks ago now, his left hand got infected at the location of the surgery wound, lower center right of his left hand. A slight gold/redness.

A friend of his who is a nurse told him to get into hospital as soon as possible as he might have an infection called Golden Staff.

My brother phoned his surgeon who told him to see his GP who gave him some anti-biotics. The redness didn’t go away and the pain increased. He ended up in hospital about 5 days later after Work Cover who paid for the original surgery agreed to pay for it.

I went in to see him on the first day, and he just seemed annoyed to be back in a hospital again. By this time the redness and increased in size, roughly a inch and a ½ diameter circle on his palm

The next day I went in to see him. He was having fevers and the redness increased considerably and his left hand was swollen.

The next day I went in, to see my brother still in a fever and found out his hand was operated on the previous night to get tissue cultures and see what they could find. Which was nothing. Now his hand was dressed though I could see his fingers were even more swollen than before. He was now on pain serious killers and at this stage, we were all starting to get more concerned about what was actually happening. Doctors included.

I met the Surgeon at this stage and his manner was very abrupt and unfriendly to say the least. Though I was assured by my brother and other friends who are in the hospital system that this doctor is the best in Qld the state we live in and one of the best in Australia. So I didn’t mind his abruptness as I did realise he is a busy guy.

At this stage I’m going to the hospital 2 times a day and spending as much time with my brother as possible. My mother and I were sharing the load, plus I was bringing in my father who due to a disability needs my assistance to get in and see him.

The next day, as a remember, I went in at night to see him and found he’d had another surgery and this time the hand was left open to help not trap in the infection. The cultures taken previously have been sent all over the place and no one can find what the infection actually is. We were told they could not grow anything on these tissues which suggested there was no infection at all. But of course there was, as could be plainly seen on his hand. So every thing was done on the fly taking it as it came day by day.

From the top of the dressing I could see a blackness on his hand above the open wound.

The next morning I came in and could see this blackness had risen up his hand close to an inch now surrounding the base of his ring and little finger. And his hand had swollen to nearly double the size.

I would take my brother on short walks around the hospital, just to get him out of the room and talk. I noticed that even these short walks were very taxing on him. I remember on one of these walks, he said “ man what sort of work can I get with only one hand?” (note the timing of this is all kinda blurry but doing my best)

The next day we arrived to see him in more distress, e.g in fever very high temperatures and now on oxygen, his demeanour was a bit scattered though mentally he seemed to be very much ok was withdrawing a bit, though he was himself which (incorrectly) made us not feel too bad about what was happening.

I was going to go back in and see him this night.

In the afternoon he phoned me to say, don’t worry about coming in tonight bro, they are going to put me down for 24 hours to give his body a rest and get some sleep. ( he previously had very little sleep ) I asked him how his lungs were going, he said, not very good. After this I was kinda relieved (naively) to think he’ll get a bit of a break.

I think my mother then received a phone call around this time that he has been admitted to intensive care

She phoned me and we both went in to see him and we were shocked to say the least.

He was on a respirator, you know that big tube down the throat, doing his breathing for him.

We were informed that prior to coming into ICU his lungs, heart and kidneys were failing. And if he wasn’t put on the respirator he would now be dead.

Honestly this all happened so fast. The previous 3 or 4 days to this point. From a small redness to almost dead in such a short time. I think we were in a mild shock with it just trying to keep up with it all. So I asked the Doctor, will he survive this. The answer given at this point was we do not know, He is very sick and he’s fighting for his life. Though we can now say he is stable, its lucky he’s a very fit person with a strong heart.

My mother and found out we could talk to the surgeon when he arrives at 6 am to the hospital. We arrived at 5.45 am to see the doctor and found a totally different man to previously. He took time to explain what was happening though could not provide us with any more information than the ICU doctors could about his condition. His goal was still to save his hand, though I was thinking just get rid of it, this is way to serious. People were still trying to diagnose the bug that was eating away at my brothers hand, at this stage the doctor said that he might possibly loose the last 2 fingers and some of the palm.

I forgot to say that on the day prior going into ICU, he was on the strongest Anti Biotics known to man. ( he was on different Anti biotic courses since he entered hospital)

Though the doctor informed us, it was difficult for the anti biotics to work in my brother 1. because of diabetes and 2. because he was a smoker. Both of which cause damage to the smaller blood vessels in the body, thus not allowing the blood to get through properly to the infected areas.

(My brother has been a Type 1 Diabetic since age 7, and never really got on top of it, thus being a smoker) Partly this letter is to show any diabetics out there exactly why you shouldn’t smoke, this is a real live example why you just cannot smoke.

So what was happening the day prior to entering ICU in front of our eyes without even knowing it, was his major organs were shutting down and he was dying. Looking back I can see it now. But that the time and partly because of his good demeanour we had absolutely no idea. Even though we were asking as many questions as possible of the nurses and doctors.

So here we are with my brother in ICU not even knowing If he will come out of it.

At this stage I thought I’d better get his mobile phone and get his friends phone numbers. In the ICU his stuff was collected in 2 plastic bags. Mum said, Pete maybe you should take the whole bags, I asked the Nurse, she said, yes good idea. At this point it really hit me. My little bro doesn’t need his bags any more. It hit both mum and I at the same time. We were very quiet as we left the hospital.

I decided it was important for his children to fully understand what was happening with their Dad. 6 yr Boy 12 and 14 yr old girls.

I organised for them to come in the next day. This was important, because if he was not going to make it. It was very important for the kids to see him as he is, so that it will help with their grieving process. E.g. not be in denial and hope for him to come back.

(noting my brother and his wife separated 18 months ago, though his ex wife has been fantastic throughout this.)

Since he was stable, the Surgeon operating on his hand each night, to check how far the hand has died.

Mum and I would wait to see him after each surgery at roughly 10.30pm each night and then see him the next morning at 6am. Each time we saw the surgeon. He spent as much time as was required and was very caring throughout the process. And we did in fact get to understand that my brother was in very good hands.

The next day/night the surgeon operated on my brothers hand again, to remove the ring finger and small finger, though when he operated he found that the gang green had progressed through out his whole hand and down his arm slightly and had to amputate the hand. He informed us that he will need to remove 2 inchs more down his arm though didn’t want to do it in this surgery and expose open bone to the germs or bugs etc.

The next morning after this surgery, the nurses informed us, pretty much straight after his hand was removed his heart rate came back to pretty much normal and his temperature decreased considerably.

So at last, for the first time, we had some positive news.
2 days and two more surgeries later, his condition was improving, his oxygen levels were increasing, his kidneys were improving.

At one point, one of the doctors told us that even if his lungs are rid of the disease, it will take them 2 to 4 weeks to expel all the fluid before we can take him of the respirator.

The next day, (Sunday) we arrive to hear that his sedation has been reduced so they can bring him out of the coma. I have to say this totally freaked my mother and I out.

Of course my brother didn’t know about not having a hand any longer or how sick he is. His body might have been ready to get back to life on its own, but at that exact time I can tell you, my mother and I were not. We had in our minds another 2 or 3 weeks to get used to the idea of telling him about it.

It ended up taking 3 and ½ days to bring him out, and we wanted to be there exactly when he woke up. I know I’d want us around if it happened to me.

What made this more horrible was that, they can only remove the large tube down his throat, while he is fully conscious. This also has its risks, especially for my brother, since when they did initially put him on the respirator, they had many complications, the nurses said that after they ventilated him , there were 5 people walking into the ICU with very grey faces after nearly loosing him many times. So it was critical in this case that there was a little risk as possible when removing it.

As it turned out, Thursday morning we were informed that he’d come out of it in the afternoon. So I arrived at 12pm. To be told that its already out and he’s awake! I walked into his room and he looked up and smiled at me. I just couldn’t believe it.
He asked about his hand, or specifically his fingers. I said, hang on I’ll go get a Doctor and we’ll go over it together (being advised previously this is the best way to do it) So I left to go phone Mum to come in straight away and tell her the news. By the time I had returned, He said, they had to take my hand bro. I told him I knew, and that Mum and I had been there with him the whole time.

Unfortunately at this same time. His surgeon was in hospital himself having a back surgery. Though from his bedside he phoned my mother to give her updates on my brothers progress. He is an amazing man.

By this time both my mother and I were pretty much exhausted after being at the hospital so much, taking phone calls and updating our phone lists with each update in my brothers condition. (I’m not looking forward to this months mobile bill J )
We have been running pretty much on adrenalin and very little sleep the previous week, and now he needs us more than ever.

What amazed all of us is how much muscle tone he had lost while being on the ventilator. E.g he could not even stand the next day, his leg muscles had deteriorated that much combined with being on a lot of pain medication etc. This is the same for his lung muscles, since the ventilator has been doing the work for these muscles, these muscles have lost their tone as well. So he has a lot of physio work to do just to get back to normal physically.

About 5 days after he came out of the coma, he’s now in the rehab unit. The doctors say medically he’s at the point where he can go home. Though he now needs the physio to get him well enough physically to go home and be relatively independent etc.

Just 20 mins ago while I was typing this I got a phone call and it was my brother J
First call I’ve got from him since that last one just prior to him going into the educed coma. Kinda caught my by surprise, especially since I was in the middle of typing this and the associated emotions. He just wanted a phone number etc.

He was so lucky to have been covered by Work Cover, who paid all his Private hospital bills and was afforded such excellent care, especially in the ICU.

Throughout this process my mother and I got to meet some very special people. Specifically my brothers surgeon. Personally there are few people I’ve met who I can say is truly a great man. This man surely qualifies for this. After being at the hospital for such a long time with extended periods and speaking to so many different staff. This man is known as not having such a great bed side manner, though renowned as being an excellent surgeon. After seeing him at 6am in the morning then seeing him at 10.30pm the same night on many occasions, its understandable why he’s not always the brightest personality to be around, especially considering the amount of patients on his list. Finding out from his colleagues that he has been doing these hours for 30 years. For me its very hard to understand the level of responsibility this man has taken on, and is able to cater to, in such an excellent manner. And at the same time raise a family with children who are medical students. To be honest, I think I’m in awe of this mans ability to get some much from one life, and make such a difference to the lives of others, If our family is just one of 1000’s then this is a massive achievement.

So coming out through these difficult times now, our family has grown stronger together, no doubt about it, not that it was not strong in the least. Though times like this do bring out the best in people. Speaking about Strength, wow my brother is leading the way here, that’s for sure. His best mate phoned me after seeing him for the first time after coming out of the coma, he said “Pete, I can’t believe him. Man he’s dealing with all this better than I am”, and I concur with his statement.

I’ve been in touch with all of his close friends, some we’ve known since he was 5 years old. The list of friends grew quite large, after friends phoned friends and passed on my phone number so everyone could be updated. Every friend asked what they could do to help. A lot of them have organised time to come up from different states to see him, if he was ever in doubt how many people loved him, I’m sure he’s just been cured of that J

I posted a request for advice on a 4x4 forum I frequent as my hobby and was amazed at the replies of advice and offers to help. Today I received a knob you put on the steering wheel of your car for one handed drivers, from a person I’ve never met before.

He’s not out of the woods yet, there’s still a long way to go. But at least he’ll have the support of a loving family

Don’t know why this turned into a novel, looks like I needed to get it out.

Thanks for reading

Cheers

Pete

[Wordgunner]

Pete-

I'm SO glad he made it through.

Our prayers of thanks and thoughts are still with you and your family.

Peace to you, my friend.

Gman

[BenJen]

Pete,
I'm so glad your brother made it.
I read through the whole thing as I can really relate to it. It happened to my mother (different nature). We were at the hospital for the full one month. The anguish...emotions...denial of losing loved ones....She didn't make it.....

Prayer to your brother, you and your family.

Regards
BenJen

[ecramer]

I am also glad to hear that he pulled through.
I wish your brother and family the best.

[emmamba]

Hi Pete,
I am glad your brother made it. Be strong
Goodluck and best wishes

Emmanuel Mba

[Blue Frog]

Thank you for sharing what has been happening to your family. I am so sorry that your brother and all those who love him have had to endure this stressful event. I am happy to hear that your brother is on the road to recovery now. You all have certainly had to reach into your inner most being to find your strength. I wish you all the best, and hope your brother heals quickly.

[kokopoko]

I am just stunned! I so very glad that your brother came through ok. Did they ever find out what it was that caused this? It sounds like a spider bite or something. What a hard thing to get through. I am so glad it's all ok now. Get some rest!!

Christine

[aj2000]

Wow Pete. Tough time for sure mate. I am so glad to hear your brother is OK. What an emotional drain that had to be for you guys.

Sounds like your bro is quite the strong fellow. I hope he realizes losing a hand does not make him any less of a man. My father lost his right leg to cancer when I was a kid. Before the doctors took his leg I could tell my dad was concerned what I would think of him less a leg. I told him he would be no lesser of a man to me. Character cannot be removed with surgery nor can his love for his family. That's all that mattered to us. We did not care what they took as long as he remained with us. In the end he lost his battle but he never was any less of a man to us and fought his disease to the end.

Your brother is lucky to have family and friends like you guys. Pete, I'm a home repair expert...if there is anything he needs just pm me and I'll do my best to make it happen.

Adam

[blogfoxy]

Hey Pete!

I've got your brother in about 5 international prayer circles. I couldn't help but shed a tear at your story - it's HELL to have someone you love in agonizing pain, let alone wondering if you'll ever even get to talk to them again. You feel like there are so many things you haven't said yet, and it's hard to grasp that they might not be there the next day.

May the Lord bless you all, and may He speed his healing!

Hugs,

Olaina

[raysteele]

Whenever you think you are having a rough day there is always someone else that has it worse. It is sad your brother had to lose his hand. On the brighter side he still has a great brother and mother and the chance to continue his life with his children.

I pray your whole family can receive the strength, wisdom and fufillment of desires needed to deal with your brothers current and future situations. I hope this can make you an even stronger family. If you do not mind I will also keep your whole family in my prayer list.

I really enjoy your programs and look forward to future releases but can totally understand your situation and your dedication to your brother even strengthens my committment to you as a future customer.

Your friend in the states.
Ray Steele

[Mary]

Dear Pete,

I'm so sorry to hear about this nightmare experience. I wish your family peace and strength to face these challenges.

All the best,
Mary

[taximan]

Glad your bro's okay Pete,

Your post brought back my own recent drama......six weeks laid up with a week in itu....still loads more ops to go yet but I feel pretty confident about it.

Regarding the doctors and nurses that cared for me in the uk........they are amazing people....patient and understanding...whilst at the same time overworked and under payed....I cannot praise them highly enough.

As a point of interest....apparently human consciousness can make big leaps after major trauma (such as itu) I myself have started learning reiki healing and other holistic healing techniques......I couldn't tell you why...it just felt the right thing to do at the time and indeed still does feel right.

Anyhow....just thought it might help to share a little

cheers
Paul O

[elliek]

Sorry to just be hearing about your brother's situation and the challenges your family is facing. God be with you and your family- and all the friends that are there to help.

Peace

[poem]

It must have been tough Pete. I will pray for your brother and your family. Hang on there. Hope everything will be alright.

[Joh Sullivan]

Really glad your brother got through this situation. It seems almost unbelievable to pass through something like this.

John

[SeanF]

Great to hear your brother pulled through ok Pete, it's truley a heart rendering few weeks you and your family have been put through.

Best wishes for the future.

Onwards and upwards mate

[Minbani]

I am so sorry to learn of your families trauma Pete and hope everything is now on the up-and-up. When one is sick or in difficulties, it's surprising how many good people there are out there willing to lend a hand. I know this because I've just had 2 total knee replacements in the past 3 months. Numerous people have recently reinforced my belief in the basic goodness of people and this has come from some surprising characters. The old addage "Don't assume" has been highlighted in my life through this episode. It's at these troubled times in our lives that families like yours (and thank God mine) stand beside each other and help. Praise the Lord for loving and caring family and friends. I wish your Brother a speedy and trouble free rehabilitation so he can once again appreciate and participate in your families love. Bless you all! The good Doctor needs Blessing and our prayers too.

Regards,
Jan

[Aliz]

I was so shocked and sorry to hear of such traumatic nightmare you and your family have been through, Pete (literally crying while reading your moving account of it). We are praying your brother heals quickly. Bless you all!
very sincerely,
Aliza